Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
It's shark week go big or go home
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
