I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Randomize
