After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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