My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
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