Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
