You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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