oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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