i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
