Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
