wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
