Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
