I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize