We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
