my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
