Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
