you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
