I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
foreskin is a definite game changer
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Randomize
