we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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