If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
