her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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