I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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