do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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