Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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