that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
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