lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
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