if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize