I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
