Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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