He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
