so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
