I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
