Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Randomize
