she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
