eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
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