Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
