someone get that fucking seahorse.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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