it wasn't lemon gatorade
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
