Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I need to sanitize my soul.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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