My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
