Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
