it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I've blown a few things in my day
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
