your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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