i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
