I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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