There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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