Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
