when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
