so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
