More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
did i walk over a car last night?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
