My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
