waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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