I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
