What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
