I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize