I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
