I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Panties = found
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
