When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
